Sunday, March 8, 2009
I should have stated this in my first post as to why I am writing but I guess it is never to late. I am writing this blog as a mother of one of your fellow moho bloggers to share my feelings on this side of the issue. As I stated in my last entry when M. came out I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I also felt hurt, betrayal, loss, cheated. As I reflect on this now I can see I wasn't thinking of his feelings but how his coming out was going to affect me. As with any "straight girl" you imagine the perfect wedding, children, children's weddings, grandchildren and when M. came out I felt I was being cheated of seeing him being married in the temple and having grandchildren. How dare he ruin the picture I had in my mind. Wasn't he suppose to follow the path that I had charted out for him. That is when it hit me-he had his own free agency-his own life-his own decisions to make. If we all followed the same path with all decisions being made for us we wouldn't have chosen the Savior's course in the premortal but instead we would have all chosen satans. Just like when Adam & Eve were placed in the garden and commanded not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil but they were still given their free agency to choose for themselves whether they would partake. Even though they partook and were cast out our Heavenly Father didn't stop loving them. He continued to watch over them and placed people there to help them and guide them. I think the one of the lessons I have learned from M. coming out is that we all have our own free agency and that is what our Savior and Heavenly Father wanted. Even when people do what we may not agree with we shouldn't stop loving them or fellowshipping them. Example: Even though I do not believe in living together before marriage I didn't think any less of my inlaws when they did. I didn't love my grandfather any less because he smoked and I don't believe in smoking. In today's relief society lesson on acceptance one lady made the comment maybe we should be less quick to judge and more supportive. If we supported everyone and their differences can you imagine what the world would be like. I like to joke at home that they live in a dictatorship and I am the dictataor-my daughter today told me you know who wanted to be the supreme dictator don't you- I think I am going to have to redo my saying.