Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Children of God
As I stated in my last post I felt like my world had been turned upside down about 6 months ago when my oldest child came out to me and told me he was gay. I had had my suspicions for awhile but to have him confirm them-and then to tell me he was being excommunicated I felt like my heart was being ripped out. After the initial shock I realized that he was still my son-still a son of Our Heavenly Father and he was still the child that I loved. At first I wondered about our eternal family and what impact this would have on it-because I couldn't imagine not having this special child with us. Our family is not perfect-but one thing we are close-especially the kids. Our daughter didn't take the news well but I can say she is slowly adjusting and last sunday was almost like old times-my piece of heaven where there was no tension and the kids laughing and joking with each other. Do I have all the answers about this same sex attraction--no. Do I think we will ever have the answers--No. But I feel deep down in my heart that maybe the reason we as family members are faced with this is to test us. To see if we truly posses Charity-The Love Of God. One morning as I was thinking about this I immediately recalled in my mind the story of the woman taken in adultry. Now remember at that time that was a sin punished by stoning but did the Savior stone her no he rebuked those who were accusing her and then he turned to her and instead 0f condemning her or making her feel bad he told her to go and sin no more. That is when I realized that our job is to love everyone and that the Lord and our Heavenly Father will be the one to decide what we are doing is right or wrong for they truly know what is in our heart. My heart breaks as M. tells us about you out there that face same sex attraction being shut off from your families, friends if I could I would adopt all of you. As I have always taught my children they are to love and show respect to everyone no matter who they are. Well, I realize that I am starting to ramble-my mind goes faster then my hands can type and I have a lot to say on this subject. I just hope whoever is out there reading this knows that they are loved. That there is someoue out there rooting for them and hoping that they will find true happiness.
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I know your son, and from him, I feel I kind of know you. I'm soooooooooo grateful for you , your love for your son, your love for us, your kindness, and your support for those in our situation. I'm going to tell my parents soon. Like you, my family is unusually close. Sometimes, I almost have an anxiety attack at the thought of telling them, but then I think of people like you and I have hope again. Lately, I've started to feel that it is time to tell them. So, soon, they'll know. You and your writings and even the thought of you will be the greatest source of comfort, hope, and support. Thank you. You and your kindness mean more than you know. Thank you sooo much. Really, it's true. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour son is so lucky to have you! Welcome to the blogging world. I look forward to reading your thoughts and learning from your journey.
ReplyDeleteOne by one there will be more of us that truly understand this, and one by one the attitudes of the world we live in will change, I hope.