Happily Ever After????

I have been wanting to write this post for the last few days but for some reason have not find time to have quiet computer time. I read somewhere that we need to compare our lives to a book- with a beginning, a middle and an end. The beginning (premortal life) character's & setting were introduced. The 2nd part or the middle part is the one in which we are living. The middle part is where all the action-twist & turns are. The one in which we will be tested by temptation, by trials, by happiness and even tragedy.... So when does the line 'And they all lived happily ever after' happen. At the end-the 3rd stage of the book which is still to come but just not now. So why do we all want or expect "Happily Ever After" now? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. What is Happiness exactly? Is anyone really happy? Where does one find happiness? Many of us think that once certain things happen we will find happiness. Ex.: boyfriend, girlfriend, new job, marriage, children, partner. But once we have these things are we happy. I like to compare this to the grass is always greener on the other side. Once we get to the other side we realize that we are no more happy then from where we started. I am seeing so much unhappiness in the bloggers, in married couples, in single couples. For so many of us we feel that once we are married, married in the temple, have kids we will have complete happiness. This is definetly a fantasy. I am starting to realize that there is no set recipe or mold for happiness. Happiness has to come from inside of you not by your surroundings or other people. I am starting to think you have to make happiness happen it just doesn't come to you. You have to be make the best of the situation you are in. Happiness is a journey not a destination. I am not saying to give up. I am not saying that we will never find happiness until the end I am just saying that we have to BELIEVE AND HOPE that the 'Happily Ever After' will come eventually. And it will if we are doing the things we should be doing and making the most of this life. We have been promised this. I firmly believe this andthat is what keeps me going. Life is not perfect was never intended to be.

Thoughts for the Day

I have been thinking about some of the quotes I heard in yesterday's relief society lesson. It was Lesson 29 Living with Others in Peace and Harmony. There are 2 quotes by Joseph Smith that really stood out to me:

"We (hope that) our brethren will be careful of one another's feelings, and walk in love, honoring one another more than themselves, as is required by the Lord."

"I have the most liberal sentiments, and feelings of charity towards all sects, parties, and denominations; and the rights and liberties of conscience, I hold most sacred and dear and despise no man for differing with me in matters of opinion."

I can't help wonder what our world, church meetings would be like if these 2 ideas were taught & lived. Our bishop taught the lesson and he brought up the point of the time in the Nephite history where there was that little time when there was peace on the land and he stressed that was there because everyone got along and there was no judging or putting oneself above another. I think I am going to have to get quote 1 printed up as a plaque for my home. I especially love the part "as is required by the Lord" to be careful of one another's feelings. I think we as members sometimes have trouble with this part. Just something I have had on my mind and wonder what you think of this.

Clarification

I just realized I might have come across in my last blog post that I believe homosexuality is a choice. I want to clarify that I do not believe homosexuality is a choice. I cannot understand how anyone can believe it is. I do believe though that acting on it is a choice and that is where free agency comes in. I hope I didn't offend anyone that wasn't what I intended.

I should have stated this in my first post as to why I am writing but I guess it is never to late. I am writing this blog as a mother of one of your fellow moho bloggers to share my feelings on this side of the issue. As I stated in my last entry when M. came out I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I also felt hurt, betrayal, loss, cheated. As I reflect on this now I can see I wasn't thinking of his feelings but how his coming out was going to affect me. As with any "straight girl" you imagine the perfect wedding, children, children's weddings, grandchildren and when M. came out I felt I was being cheated of seeing him being married in the temple and having grandchildren. How dare he ruin the picture I had in my mind. Wasn't he suppose to follow the path that I had charted out for him. That is when it hit me-he had his own free agency-his own life-his own decisions to make. If we all followed the same path with all decisions being made for us we wouldn't have chosen the Savior's course in the premortal but instead we would have all chosen satans. Just like when Adam & Eve were placed in the garden and commanded not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil but they were still given their free agency to choose for themselves whether they would partake. Even though they partook and were cast out our Heavenly Father didn't stop loving them. He continued to watch over them and placed people there to help them and guide them. I think the one of the lessons I have learned from M. coming out is that we all have our own free agency and that is what our Savior and Heavenly Father wanted. Even when people do what we may not agree with we shouldn't stop loving them or fellowshipping them. Example: Even though I do not believe in living together before marriage I didn't think any less of my inlaws when they did. I didn't love my grandfather any less because he smoked and I don't believe in smoking. In today's relief society lesson on acceptance one lady made the comment maybe we should be less quick to judge and more supportive. If we supported everyone and their differences can you imagine what the world would be like. I like to joke at home that they live in a dictatorship and I am the dictataor-my daughter today told me you know who wanted to be the supreme dictator don't you- I think I am going to have to redo my saying.

Children of God

As I stated in my last post I felt like my world had been turned upside down about 6 months ago when my oldest child came out to me and told me he was gay. I had had my suspicions for awhile but to have him confirm them-and then to tell me he was being excommunicated I felt like my heart was being ripped out. After the initial shock I realized that he was still my son-still a son of Our Heavenly Father and he was still the child that I loved. At first I wondered about our eternal family and what impact this would have on it-because I couldn't imagine not having this special child with us. Our family is not perfect-but one thing we are close-especially the kids. Our daughter didn't take the news well but I can say she is slowly adjusting and last sunday was almost like old times-my piece of heaven where there was no tension and the kids laughing and joking with each other. Do I have all the answers about this same sex attraction--no. Do I think we will ever have the answers--No. But I feel deep down in my heart that maybe the reason we as family members are faced with this is to test us. To see if we truly posses Charity-The Love Of God. One morning as I was thinking about this I immediately recalled in my mind the story of the woman taken in adultry. Now remember at that time that was a sin punished by stoning but did the Savior stone her no he rebuked those who were accusing her and then he turned to her and instead 0f condemning her or making her feel bad he told her to go and sin no more. That is when I realized that our job is to love everyone and that the Lord and our Heavenly Father will be the one to decide what we are doing is right or wrong for they truly know what is in our heart. My heart breaks as M. tells us about you out there that face same sex attraction being shut off from your families, friends if I could I would adopt all of you. As I have always taught my children they are to love and show respect to everyone no matter who they are. Well, I realize that I am starting to ramble-my mind goes faster then my hands can type and I have a lot to say on this subject. I just hope whoever is out there reading this knows that they are loved. That there is someoue out there rooting for them and hoping that they will find true happiness.

How do I begin? That has been the question going around and around in my head. Do I want to blog about my family or the many ideas and thoughts going around in my head. I still haven't decided so maybe it will be a combination of both. I just know that I have been very inspired and touched by the many blogs I have been reading. As I read them I wish that I could tell you how they have touched me and made me reevaluate how I look at things. So much has happened in the last 6 months-at the beginning I felt like the world I knew or believed in had been turned upside down but know that some time has passed I see that somethings had changed but the majority had stayed the same. As I write this I am beginning to see how I want to start my blog and so hopefully tomorrow I will begin the story of my journey.